When you are first married, you definitely do not expect to divorce. When you start a family, you are more concerned for your children's welfare than possible custody scenarios in the event of a split. Divorce, however, does happen under different circumstances, and if you have agreed to a joint custody agreement with your ex-spouse you may wonder how this changes the way you live. Of course, your children may not stay with you all the time, but it is important to ensure that your kids stay well-adjusted and know they are loved though their parents no longer live together.
Whether your divorce proved amicable or acrimonious, conflicts are likely to arise in a joint custody situation. There will be an adjustment period that requires at least one parent moving into a new home - perhaps both if the marriage property is sold in the separation. Your children will need to be settled in a school and other extra-curricular activities where applicable, and once those things are handled you must come to a sound co-parenting schedule with your ex.
Should you come to loggerheads over a particular situation - school pickup schedules, money, religious upbringing - it is important not to create a conflict that leads your children to believe they are causing difficulties. Regardless of the circumstances that brought on the divorce, you can work things out with your ex to the benefit of everybody involved. Here are a few tips to consider:
1) Never fight in front of your children. When problems arise, work them out in a calm manner. If you find tensions heating and you must have words, make sure your children are not within earshot. Do your best to compromise without influencing ill will, though.
2) Keep lines of communication open. Everything you need to discuss with your ex should be communicated directly. Do not put your children in the middle of a conversation like pages by having them send messages back and forth.
3) Do not disparage your ex to your children. Even on your worst day, when you want to rant out loud and call your ex every name in the book, don't say one negative word if your children are in the room. They may realize their parents do not love each other anymore, but it is not fair to lead them to think one of their parents is mean or not worthy or their love.
Taking on the responsibility of co-parenting in a joint custody agreement will require work on your part, and your ex-spouse's. Work together and ensure the health and happiness of your children.
Whether your divorce proved amicable or acrimonious, conflicts are likely to arise in a joint custody situation. There will be an adjustment period that requires at least one parent moving into a new home - perhaps both if the marriage property is sold in the separation. Your children will need to be settled in a school and other extra-curricular activities where applicable, and once those things are handled you must come to a sound co-parenting schedule with your ex.
Should you come to loggerheads over a particular situation - school pickup schedules, money, religious upbringing - it is important not to create a conflict that leads your children to believe they are causing difficulties. Regardless of the circumstances that brought on the divorce, you can work things out with your ex to the benefit of everybody involved. Here are a few tips to consider:
1) Never fight in front of your children. When problems arise, work them out in a calm manner. If you find tensions heating and you must have words, make sure your children are not within earshot. Do your best to compromise without influencing ill will, though.
2) Keep lines of communication open. Everything you need to discuss with your ex should be communicated directly. Do not put your children in the middle of a conversation like pages by having them send messages back and forth.
3) Do not disparage your ex to your children. Even on your worst day, when you want to rant out loud and call your ex every name in the book, don't say one negative word if your children are in the room. They may realize their parents do not love each other anymore, but it is not fair to lead them to think one of their parents is mean or not worthy or their love.
Taking on the responsibility of co-parenting in a joint custody agreement will require work on your part, and your ex-spouse's. Work together and ensure the health and happiness of your children.
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